Balance. Such an inherently simple, yet complicated concept.
Balance in life. Balance in relationships. Balance in physical structure. Balance between action and inaction. Balance in work/life. Balance in yoga poses.
Tonight I had some of the best, most balanced, most "stretchy" Half Moon Poses I have experienced in a while. The concentration required of this pose, with only one foot and the fingertips (or for the particularly flexible, the hand) in contact with the ground, requires immense focus.
In the words Jackie Chan in the New Karate Kid - "Your focus needs more focus!" In yoga, there is a specific term used for finding that central focal point and keeping your eyes on it to help maintain your balance.
From Yoga Journal (http://www.yogajournal.com/lifestyle/159?page=3)
Drishti ("view/sight"): yogic gazing, such as at the tip of the nose or the spot between the eyebrows; cf. darshana (And also, for a very thorough article describing various techniques and focal points: http://www.yogajournal.com/wisdom/642)
I will use an external focal point in poses such as Half Moon, Tree Pose or Warrior Three (also called Brave Warrior - probably because you have to be fairly brave to balance on one foot! HA!) I love ceilings with imperfections for this reason - a scuff mark, a pock in the drywall, a particular bit of popcorn ceiling to focus my gaze. When I do yoga outside it's a point on the horizon, a knot in the fenceline bordering the park, or the infinite distance stretching past my fingertips.
And now, my big reveal. I'm pretty much an extrovert (that's not the secret). I rarely take myself to lunch, or to a movie, or on a hike alone. (I WOULD walk my dog alone, however). I like the social interaction of doing things together with people - I like being in a group doing Taekwondo, I love having a riding buddy at the barn, or a training partner on a run. But here's the actual secret part.
I genuinely like practicing yoga by myself. It's one of the FEW things that I will actually do happily alone. OF COURSE it's helpful to make a plan to meet up with someone to do a practice, or in my former group that would meet to do our YOGA-RIFIC practices together for Saturday Morning Yoga, but on my own, I will happily step onto my mat solo and do a DVD routine all by me onsey-savvy.
As I say all the time, yoga is non-competitive (well... save with myself, as discussed in my prior post. YES, it IS a contest for me to correctly align my forehead with my knee!) and yoga is an individual practice. Each day will bring a different set of challenges to overcome for your own body and, particularly for me, in my own mind. When there are others around me, I am less centered in my own yoga practice. I either feel the need to provide gentle guidance in the poses, compliment a particularly well done pose, or (my Achilles Heel) find myself comparing to others and wishing that I had their particular hip flexibility, or their gracefulness, or their strength. Somehow, when there are others around, even with the satisfaction I get from doing yoga in a group with others, somehow I am less present in myself and my focus shifts outward to them. A grunt in a challenging balance posture draws my eye, a subtle adjustment on their mat in Savasana Pose snaps my awareness to their motion, or, most distracting of all, initiating a beginner who is taking it up for the first time and me agonizing over which DVD routine to choose to do with them so that they will be hooked like me - while not overwhelmed, but challenged enough to keep their interest and get that amazing rush I get following my practice. My intentions are good. (Excepting self-criticism.) My focus... Not so good.
When it's just me, suddenly my focus is internalized and the rest of the world slips away from me save for the contact of my soles on the mat, the loosening of my hip flexors gradually letting go their tension, the strength I find in my Chaturanga (Pushup position) and the ease with which my forward bends release the constriction in my low back. (And it's sometimes VERY nice to be alone with the lovely side-effects of producing deep abdominal wringing in the twists..... *tee hee!*) When I do a practice by myself, free from all others eyes, thoughts, concerns or comparisons, I truly find ME.
While I LOVE to practice with others, and especially feel enthused when someone "catches" yoga fever like I have, I feel an enormous and profound sense of excitement and gratitude. Yoga makes me feel so amazing! Fatigued, but relaxed; calmed yet invigorated; physically strengthened and mentally centered. I feel SO good I want EVERYONE to love yoga like I do. Sometimes knowing that someone is counting on me to practice with them is exactly the motivation I need for the days when it seems easier to sit on the couch eating Cheetos.
But the value that I find in the practice time that I spend alone, just me with my body, my thoughts - has done more to challenge me to be present JUST with myself (admittedly a practice at which I am not always the kindest, most encouraging version of myself to myself) has forced me to grow, to quiet my hamster-on-the-wheel overactive mind, and to lose myself in the rhythm of the breath, the workings of my body moving through the poses, and bringing awareness of my Drishti.
May all peace be with you,
Namaste.
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