This equally applies to Encyclopedias, the Thesaurus (are multiples called Thesauri? If not, they should be!) or Wikipedia.
Dear Dictionary,
It's not you... it's me. I can't even begin to
look up a word before I get distracted by you. Particularly if you show
me a tantalizing picture illustrating some nebulous word or other that
captivates me. I can't even recall what the original focus of my search
was to begin with. I therefore, am sorry to inform you that while I will always love
you, and I love to spend hours with you, you're ruining my life. You're
like an obsession that I can't quit! You're bad for my work/life
balance! Regretfully, we are simply going to have to spend more time
apart, though I'll still subscribe to your "word of the day" e-mails
because I'm not quite ready to walk away entirely.
Sincerely,
Word-Obsessed
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I have a couple of *interesting* personality quirks. (That's me using tact with myself so I don't get hurt feelings and go off and sulk in a dark corner). One of them is getting fixated on something - whatever it happens to be at that moment. When I was a kid, I watched my favorite movies so many times that roughly twenty years later when I found (to my absolute unadulterated delight!!!) a DVD copy of one of my absolute favorite musicals "Slipper & The Rose", I called my brother to excitedly advise him of my find, and without a moment's hesitation, he began singing "PROTOCOLIGORICALLY CORRECT!" Twenty years between viewings and my poor brother had been subjected to it so many times that he could sing it without any further prompting than the title! That's incredible! And disturbing. Possibly incredibly disturbing!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=22XcT6KCrjs
Here's the YouTube clip of this song from the movie. It's a positively wonderful musical from 1976 starring Richard Chamberlain, Gemma Craven, as well as a delightful performance by Michael Hordern as the king. It has zero fart jokes or toilet humor (always a plus in my book!!!) It was written by the Sherman Brothers, who were the same writers for Chitty-Chitty Bang Bang and Mary Poppins, and thanks to my friend Wikipedia I learned they also did The Jungle Book, Charlotte's Web (Salutations!) & Aristocats as well. Besides the jaw-dropping costumes, the incredible song/dance numbers and the fact as a small child I was personally in love with Richard Chamberlain in this movie - all that aside - the actual language that is used I'm quite sure was almost solely responsible for sparking my love of large words. ($5 words we call them in my family). I saw "Slipper & The Rose" as a tiny bean sprout and I've been ABSOLUTELY in love with it ever since! If I'm having a "bad day" it's time for this movie, (let me here insert that my husband has the absolute patience of a saint sharing the bed with me, a confirmed bed hog, my childhood teddy bear and my cat!), and hopefully some frozen deliciousness in the form of ice cream to cure me!
Another symptom of my fixation problem in later years: putting a song on repeat until my college roommates were ready to asphyxiate me with a pillow, my habit of getting only one certain dish at a restaurant every.single.time.I.go.there (the wait staff won't even bring me a menu after a while, recognizing me as I stroll in. "Oh, that's Broccoli Beef with hot tea and an order of vegetarian egg rolls. She ALWAYS gets that!" Hey! At least I tip well!) Another would be becoming obsessed with a word and running it over and over through my mind until it was threadbare from all the inappropriate mental fondling.
One of my favorite words when I was a younger lass was "AKIMBO". Meaning to stand with arms bent outwards and hands on hips. (The pose your mom most likely took up each time she got ready to scold you.) Akimbo! What a word! The very sound of it rolled off my tongue. It sounded like some exotic import from Mozambique! "Yes Madam, your shipment of Akimbo has arrived. Where would you like me to put the crates?" (Of course, they'd have to be slatted wooden ones all Indiana Jones-style and filled with that straw-like stiff fancy stuff that thanks to my time at the Forest Service I learned is finely shredded bark called "excelsior." Of all the incredibly exciting words available meaning not only "ever upward" in Latin, but also: fine wood shavings used for stuffing, packing, etc.)
And here's the picture of what it looks like in my mind:
http://moviesblog.mtv.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/02/020108_indianajones2.jpg
And here's the picture of what it looks like in my mind:
http://moviesblog.mtv.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/02/020108_indianajones2.jpg
Akimbo. So mysterious. How I LONGED to use this word in my everyday vernacular. But as a middle schooler, it's pretty tough to work "akimbo" into your everyday conversation.
"Oh Vickie! You're so funny standing there with your arms all akimbo!"
*Blank stare*
See what I mean?
Still, the endless words floating in the dictionary's pages were like treasures, my mind
attempting to capture each one and bask in the glow of its beauty like
fireflies captured in a jar. But like fireflies in a jar, they
eventually dimmed out. Particularly if you didn't punch holes in the top
of the jar. They went out faster then. I often longed for a
photographic memory (mine works organizationally. I know the description
was NEXT to a picture of an anemone on a coral reef on the lower right
hand side of the page, but what it actually said? Hrm..........)
One my secret delights is learning a word and then magically it appears somewhere else in your life. I think this has to be one of the more exciting things that ever happens to me. No, seriously. That or winning $46.7 billion in the lottery. They're about equally weighted.
For
example: I went to a karate class (I am, in fact, a martial artist, but
not in karate) with my friend and her instructor was preparing for a
presentation in which he would be demonstrating a kukri form and ran
through it for us as a demo practice. (A definition of kukri and some
wicked pictures can be found here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kukri ) Then, WHAM BAM! Here comes a weapons catalog in the mail for my father-in-law and WHAT IS THAT ON THE BACK COVER?! Could it be?
*Squinting at shiny-glossed magazine paper in bright sunlight*
IT
IS! It is a bona fide kukri, right there in front of my happy little face! I just learned what a kukri was,
saw a form where it was demonstrated in its devastating glory, and HERE IT COMES ALONG INTO MY MAILBOX! (You can see why the genuine
excitement elicited!)
So in scaling back on my word obsession and supporting my efforts in having a dictionary vs real life balance, I'm sticking to my word of the day emails... and trying my best not to click all the blue links in Wikipedia. Until next time, I'm standing with arms akimbo wishing you not only salutations, but also FELICITATIONS! (The expression of good wishes for continued happiness!)
-Sirens Echo
IMDb: Charlotte's Web (1973) http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0070016/quotes
Charlotte: Salutations.
Wilbur: Salu-what?
Charlotte: Salutations.
Wilbur: What are they? And where are you?
Charlotte: Salutations is my fancy way of saying hello.
P.S. - I looked it up. The plural of Thesaurus is INDEED Thesauri! And now the world makes sense once again! Time to listen to Protocoligorically Correct again....
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